Shea’s 11
So I parked my car in Atlantic City on a rainy Saturday afternoon and DG and I trudged through four blocks of the soaked, east coast gambler’s-mecca to meet up with 9 others to celebrate R. Shea’s bachelor party.
After some minor losses at video poker and roulette ($60) we finally met up with the whole group at a blackjack table at Resorts. I threw down $100 and started a playing with the other guys..after just a few minutes of some minor wins, I was dealt two Aces. So I split ‘em. The dealer threw down the next card: another Ace. So we forgot that loss and moved over to my OTHER Ace that I split. He threw down the next card: another Ace. FOUR FRICKIN’ ACES on the table. Who gets that in Blackjack?? That was $20 down the poop chute. At the most during that game I was up $40, then after some ups and downs, strikes and gutters, it all went to the deep pockets of the fine people at Resorts. Total losses thus far: $160
We forgot the gambling and helped ourselves to a buffet (I had fried chicken and bow-tie pasta, because I could — then salmon and vegetables - then softserve with some jimmys and to drink: a Sprite) then some adult beverages at the cleverly named “Bar” at the Borgata. (Best casino in AC, the closest equivalent to “the Palms” of Las Vegas, that featured some sweet glass sculpture in the lobby by Dale Chihuly of Seattle, of whom I just saw an incredible special on PBSHD last night…random.)
After several Stellas, Ryan mingling with fellow pre-marriage parties, “Coyote Ugly” and the Philly Flyers game, we hit up another club on the other side of town. A club that only allows ‘gentleman’. We were there for awhile, drinking the beer that we brought in (a BYOB kinda place) then after some drunk dude fell on me as we were leaving, I noticed what looked like a dollar bill on the floor that was being completely ignored. So I swiped it up and a few moments later noticed that it was not a $1 bill but a $100 bill. Boo ya. Total losses for the night: $160 minus $100 bill = $60.00
Passed out around 5AM and actually made it to the continental breakfast in the morning at 10AM. You just can’t beat a free breakfast.
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Happy Birfday shoutout to Mere and Kristin who celebrated their birfdays yesterday out on the west coast. Hurrah! We’ll see you kids in 4 months and 10 days. Or 132 days. Not like I’m counting 
I bet you guys are loving the gas prices right now.
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Say it ain’t so, LaVar!!! You a-hole!!! What the hell is Eastern Motors supposed to do now?
LaVar Arrington has left the Redskins of Washington to join the Giants of New York for a seven-year, $49 million deal. Bah… forget it. We’re goin’ to the SuperBowl WITHOUT you, LaVAR , AND without your weird glasses or your Reading Rainbow — oh wait.. different LeVar.
4 Responses to “Shea’s 11”
So, let me get this straight: You stole money off the floor of a strip club? Is that correct? Is that like “Find a penny, pick it up, all day long you’ll have good luck!” Except it’s really, “Find a Benjamin, steal it from the girls taking off their clothes for money, and then crib a free breakfast even though you have $100 of stolen stripper cash burning a hole in your pocket?” I guess that one doesn’t rhyme as well.
If the money isn’t ON THE STAGE, it doesn’t belong to them. That’s RULE #1. Any man on the planet knows this.
Take the $100 and put it in the thong of some hoowah or provide a comfortable life for myself and my woman?
Riiiight…so that makes you what? The valiant “PROVIDER” for you and your woman? Even if by “PROVIDER” you mean “Guy who hangs out in strip clubs stealing spare cash off the ground.” That sounds like something you should probably put up your hoowah.
When did I write that I stole money? Lemme go back and read.. uh-huh.. yah.. um.. oh … there it — nope. No — I didn’t write that.
Strip Club Floor money that is not on Stage 1 or 2 or in Trixie’s thong = MZ’s money.
Done. Next.