the sophisticates
Last night after a bellyful of baja-burrito-ultimo, I finally saw the one-joke docu-comedy “The Aristocrats”. Highlights included Sarah Silverman’s telling of the joke and a mime’s interpretation — an elderly couple left after about 20 minutes — that was pretty funny, too.
One funny part included Robin Williams and Drew Carrey telling a similarly funny and classic joke (some explicit language is used ):
This guy comes into an agent’s office looking to be represented and says “I have a great act for you.”
The agent says, “Oh yeah? Let’s see it!”
So the guy sits down at a piano and plays the most melodic, beautiful classical piece — the earth stands still as his amazing wondrous notes fill the room. The agent is mesmerized by the beauty of his song.
After he finishes the agent asks, “That was simply amazing! What do you call that song?”
The guy says, “Stinky Feces on my Dirty Cock”
The agent’s taken aback a little bit — “So, umm.. what else can you play?”
The man begins another new piece and it is even more breathtaking than the first — the agent’s heart and spirit lifts to the heavens as these beautiful notes surround him — it’s as if angels have blessed this man’s fingers across the piano keys — after the man is finished the agents asks — “Just marvelous — what as the name of that tune?”
The guy says, “Putting Fingers Up My Ass — Part 2″
The agent is off-put a bit and says, “You know — your music is simply amazing and I can definitely guarantee you business — but when you play a venue just be sure you don’t tell the audience the NAME of your songs…okay?”
The man agrees and the agent goes ahead and books him at some local venues with no problem at all….
A few days later the man is at a performance hall and has just finished the first part of his amazing set. The audience has been hypnotized by his beautiful music. During intermssion he takes a quick bathroom break in the few minutes between the two sets of his show — he hurries out of the bathroom and a stagehand yells, “Hey man, do you know your zipper’s down and your cock is hanging out of your pants?”
The guy says, “Know it? I wrote it!”
The movie featured some other great appearances — I won’t spoil anything else, but it’s pretty entertaining — just be prepared for some seriously foul language… seriously foul. Overall: 7.1 Zaps
For nerds:
I was gtalking to mattF about this a day or two ago — eye/head mouse-tracking — IBM has an early version out that you can test if you have a webcam... pretty interesting — perhaps the end of cleaning mouseballs as we know it??? (ok well, there’s optical mice…don’t try to up-nerd me)
Tonight the Nats go up against the Cardinals at RFK and I will be there with C, Ally and Mike W — this will be C & I’s 4th Nats game this season — they’ve won every game we’ve been to so far — so let’s go nats!
Ray Charles just had a post-office post-humously named after him in Los Angeles — Los Angeles area mailmen will now be required to sing R&B tunes when delivering mail.
Katrina and the waves have been plowing into Florida — Floridians are by no means walking on sunshine ….state.
