Blueberry?

What’s your name?
Dewberry.
Blueberry?
“You’re standing around like an overcooked muffin”
Gordon Ramsey didn’t fail to disappoint yesterday on the premiere of “Hell’s Kitchen”, Fox’s new summer show designed to prevent me from getting summer reading done.
Mem Day - Weekend Recap:
Friday night, we shot over to “Oyamel” in Crystal City, VA for some quality tapas. Pricey but [...]

those kooky star wars…

It took me a week, but I got around to seeing “Star Wars III: The Search for More Money” — Originally rated 6.7, i now rate 5.6 Zaps.
Haydn Christensen is a horrible horrible actor. Horrible. I saw that he’s interested in quitting “Hollywood” because it doesn’t “interest” him. Apparently he’s looking [...]

for rent: cash only

This was my favorite story from the express yesterday: A man broke into a house and rented it out. Classic. My neighbors are gone for awhile…maybe I’ll get me a new ’summer job’!
Yesterday I had “Greased Lightning 101″. Me and 7 others checked two cars and inspected fluids, hoses, etc.. It went [...]

Now, just imagine you’re weightless, in the middle of the ocean, surrounded by tiny little seahorses.

little debbie

Instead of seeing Star Wars III last night (viewing date is now Thurs 5/26) I ended up watching the epic-flop: Kevin Costner’s “Waterworld” recorded on my DVR from the SciFi channel a couple weeks ago. I had seen it once a long time ago but never really gave [...]

i’m jose. jose bauerez

(…Jack Bauer’s new “Mexicanized” name.)
Last night’s Season 4 “24″ Finale receives 6.7 Zaps — why?
1) The nuclear missile that became the central plotline for several episodes was destroyed by the good guys but with a piddly little rinky dink of an explosion. That thing needed to go out with a bang and it didn’t.
2) The [...]

i’m going to steal the declaration of independence

In order to protect it — I have to steal it. The reason? : There’s a clue on the back that says: Nicholas Cage has only made mediocre movies since “Leaving Las Vegas.” “National Treasure” was not nearly as disappointing as I had expected — (6.7 Zaps), but it had something to be desired. [...]

what a trend we have in jesus (TM)

Film & matchmaker Megan Gilbride forwarded this link via carrie this AM — the support your ‘unborn troops’ in their “Fetal Attractions” collection made me want to throw up in my mouth a little bit — but what I thought was even more digestively discomforting was that the Amish man pictured in the “Amish Car [...]

let the pigs eat cake

let the pigs eat cake

On Sunday, Las Vegas kicked off its 100th anniversary celebration by creating the world’s largest cake at 130,000 pounds beating out Fort Payne, Alabama’s record of 128,238 pounds.
600 volunteers got together to make the massive convention-room sized sheet cake.
I was wondering how they could have [...]

Dolfin Smith - Jr. Comedian

Dolfin Smith - Jr. Comedian

This pic was in the paper yesterday — a small Nova Scotian kid on the lap of Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin.
Watch out for this kid around Zap 25 —
I wouldn’t doubt if he’s already got some Canadian TV deal inked…”Dolfin in Charge, Eh?”
“Hey…I [...]

Nats 5, Brewers 2

DC mayor anthony williams and his homeboy

After a fulfilling day of saving the world one PowerPoint at a time, I headed off to the baseball diamond with my best friend Tony. I kept pushing him to skip mayoring for the day but he was like “Marty — I’ve got [...]