carrie & the mark twain honors
Last night Carrie was invited by her college friend Jay to the Kennedy Center where Lorne Michaels was honored with the 2004 Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. She provided the live red carpet play-by-play and got a hello from Horatio Sanz… with close encounters by Tracy Morgan, David Spade and Darrel Hammond. Other SNL peeps in DC last night Amy Poehler, Tina Fey, Dan Akroyd. I’ll update this later with the full scoop from Carrie.
Today’s Family Circus Cartoon #2 by Bob
Presenting Carrie’s Star-Studded-Evening at the Kennedy Center:
There were only about 20-25 people waiting around for autographs, etc. but
about 16 of them were so rude and obnoxious, with one guy blatantly refusing
to stand behind the rope and arguing with the rent-a-cop about how he was a
real American but the rent-a-cop was just a rent-a-cop. It didn’t really
make any sense until I realized that this pathetic human being had nothing
else going on in his life to make him feel good except getting Dan Akroyd’s
autograph on his 70s cast recording album to put up for sale on eBay.
whatever.
Pretty much all we did was make snarky comments about the celebs as they
came up to sign stuff… or not sign stuff. Amy Poehler just went into the
limo, maybe because no one was shouting her name but me or maybe she just
wasn’t in the mood. I wanted to say something like, “What? You don’t wanna
to talk to me cause I only got one leg?” but I didn’t. Fred Armisen and I
had a moment when I pushed my way to the front and called out “Fred!” He
came over to me but then we both realized I had no pen or camera or anything
so it was a little awkward.
Maya Rudolph gets the fugly award for looking the most fugly in her dress of
many colors. Everyone else was in conservative black or hip business
attire, but not her.
Tina Fey is beautiful in person and she signed a lot of stuff and gave some
girl some advice on breaking into the biz. (”Study improv.”) AND she
didn’t get in the limo with the rest of her cast mates — she had her own.
pretty sweet.
Basically everyone came out and signed except: Steve Martin (walked right
by looking smug as one would expect), Paul Simon (tried to sneak out another
door but was then mobbed when people realized what was going on. This also
happened to be the time when I got to the front just as the current cast
members were coming out the main doors) and Candice Bergen (never came out
that we saw, but no one was really disappointed about it.)
Other memorable sightings include Christopher Walken, who’s hair is
ridiculous, Rachel Dratch, Tracey Morgan (high as a kite), Conan O’Brien and
of course, Lorne Michaels. Overall, everyone is really thin, except Horatio
who looked bloated, and really smooth from the botox. Darrell Hammond
especially.
In conclusion, I’m definitely buying a digital camera because I cannot have
another celebrity run-in and have nothing to show for it. Jay had like
three pics left in his camera and he wasted them on Conan’s forehead and
maybe a pic of Tina Fey that may or may not have someone’s elbow in it. I
feel like I’ve let you and the martyz.com readers down. For that I am truly
sorry.
No apologies needed — myself and the martyz.com readers thank you darling, for your thorough play-by-play of the evening.
