“24″ lets down — hopefully for the last time
The Sissification of the
American Male in the 21st Century:
Why the Season 3 Finale of “24″ Sucked My Ass
By Martin Zager
Jack Bauer is red meat with a shot of bourbon and a big brass pair. He is not strawberry shortcake with a loofah and a Kleenex.
Last night’s ending scene, of a show repeatedly interrupted by obnoxious screen-shrinking tornado warnings, depicted Jack Bauer breaking down into tears after 24 hours of battling terrorists, defusing bombs, rescuing hostages, watching friends die/get injured etc. — but it all comes with the job at LA’s CTU. This scene is what makes me believe that Jack Bauer has become a metrosexual — and this is where most of the blame lies.
“Curiosity about metrosexuals climbed considerably in June when Euro RSCG Worldwide, a marketing communications agency based in New York City and more than 200 other cities, explored the changing face of American males in a report titled The Future of Men: USA.
As part of this research, men ages 21 to 48 throughout the U.S. were surveyed on masculinity-related issues. The conclusions? According to the report, there is “an emerging wave of men who chafe against the restrictions” of traditional male roles and who “do what they want, buy what they want, enjoy what they want - regardless of whether some people might consider these things unmanly.”" [Trubo, MSN Health]
Jack Bauer does indeed play by his own rules, regardless of what others think — he doesn’t give a goddamn if he has to dice up 10 babies to save 10,000 people. He will do it.
He’s that much of a badass. But Jack Bauer won’t cry about it.
Did
Cole Thorton cry about the water stealing rancher in El Dorado? Hell no! He just got pissed and kicked some rancher ass. Or did
John McClane cry when he had to crawl on broken glass in Nakitomi Plaza??? No!! He kicks ass and Hans Gruber eats it!!
My point is that the male American TV hero needs to be certain that his balls do not shrink. Perhaps the actor that plays Jack Bauer had some
issues about returning and in his ‘producer’ role on the show, decided that it’d be a powerful statement to maybe show instead of some exciting
cliffhanger that people might be interested, show Jack having some sensitive ‘Jack-time’ and reflecting on his troubling day… bullshit. The show should’ve ended with Jack’s nose bleeding or evil-doer Saunders popping out of his back seat with a bowie knife or Kim Bauer getting man-handled by an undead Gayel, who’s hungry for brains and Kim’s youthful breasts… just ANYTHING other than what they did. I encourage all of you to contact the producers of 24, and express your disappointment. Even if you don’t watch the show and you don’t think this will affect you… in the long run it will.
Thank you.
…………….
The answer to yesterday’s incredibly difficult “Neat Riddles & Stuff”:
X = December 18
Y = Gabe Melgar
A = ‘Slavery’ Abolished December 18
B = ‘Jaws’ directed by Steven Spielberg, born Dec. 18
C = December 18 is the 352nd day of the Year
D = Keith Richards born, Dartford, England
E = Ray Liotta born December 18
The winner will be announced during the halftime show of SuperBowl LCVI. Congratulations to all those who participated. If you didn’t submit an entry, you missed your chance to win some pie AND a martyz.com T-shirt.
